Remember the Love
by iBlametheNargles
Summary: Post Wheels: Artie refuses to speak to her and Tina can't stand it. Tina needs him to accept her for who she is.
1. Who I Was Meant To Be

_A:N Hi. I'm really sorry I haven't updated any of my stories, but I really and honestly tried to and failed miserably. I don't really know what to do with my Peter Pan story and until I get some ideas it will be on a hiatus. So there you have it. And please don't ask me about A Great Trip Gone Bad, I know I haven't updated in over a year, but there is some personal sort of stuff that is attached to that story, so I need to sort out that before I can continue on it._

_Anyways, I've had a thing for Artie/Tina lately and I've been searching for it non-stop on this website. I've read the majority of the Tatrie fics on this site, and I love them all. The only ones I don't enjoy as much are the futuristic ones. I enjoy them being in high school. It allows for more angst. :D Anywho, as of right now, I have no idea what to write, but I'm going to just write whatever comes to mind with this particular subject. I'm listening to the RENT original cast soundtrack right now. Jus' sos yuh know. _

_--  
_

I really need to talk to him right now. I need my friend. I need him to forgive me. To accept me for whom really I am. This thought then triggered the lyrics of a song from a musical I am rather fond of. _"Take for what I am, who I was meant to be. And if you give a damn, take me baby, or leave me." _I guess he decided to leave me. It had been about a week since the night on our date when I had told him the truth. I hadn't spoken to my best friend for a week and it was killing me inside. The guilt trip he was putting me on felt like it was eating away at my innards like some stupid parasite.

It was Friday afternoon and I was making my way over to the choir room where we had Glee. If it had been two weeks ago, Artie would've been with me. But alas, it was not two weeks ago. It was this week and Artie wasn't speaking to me. I walked through the door of the choir room and immediately saw Artie tuning his guitar. The look of concentration on his face was absolutely adorable and I couldn't help but smile and stare. As I was staring at him I hadn't realized how long I had been standing there. He would've felt someone's eyes on him and he looked up. The moment his eyes met mine I saw right into his emotions. There was a sadness there that I had never seen before. I have really hurt him. There was also anger there in his blue eyes. He looked almost disgusted at my being. He looked down again and continued to tune his guitar. That one look in his eyes made me start to tear up. I shook my hair into my face and walked over to the edge of the bleachers on the other side of the room. Mercedes walked over to me. "What's going on with you and Wheels? Is he still not talkin' to you?" Her concern was comforting, but not really what I needed right now. What I needed was for Artie to talk to me again. A simple 'hello' would suffice.

"No he's not."

"Well why? What's his deal?"

"It's nothing." I shook my head at her.

"Well it sure doesn't look like nothing. Seriously girl, it's been a week, just tell me what's up!" She put her hand on her hip and stared down at me. I looked up at her with tears in my eyes. When she saw my eyes, she softened her look and sat down next to me. She put her arm around me and I leaned my head on her shoulder.

"Right! Let's go! We have a lot of work to do before regionals if we're gonna beat Vocal Adrenaline! I have some new sheet music for you. And no, Mercedes, it's not hip hop. We needed at least one more show tune, so I have two more songs for you guys." Mr. Shue walked in the room handing out sheet music. His perky mood really got to me sometimes. Today was one of those times. The songs he handed out to us were from _RENT _and_ Chicago. _This cheered me up slightly. I loved both of those musicals. I had seen Chicago in New York this past summer and loved it. The song from RENT was _La Vie Boheme _and from Chicago was _Cell Block Tango. _That one surprised me. Wasn't it a little bit provocative for regionals?

"Right, so. You'll all be singing La Vie Boheme, and you'll all be featured at some point. Obviously with the second song, only the girls will be performing. One of the guys will be introducing the song. Sound good?" Everyone nodded at this and we set to work.

--

An hour later I was exhausted. We had gone a little over time, but the songs were already sounding pretty good. I grabbed my jacket and bag and started out the door before I was stopped by a certain Queen of Drama.

"What do you want Rachel?" I asked her, annoyed. I really didn't need this right now.

"Tina, I can quite obviously see that you and Artie are not speaking to one another at this present time and I can't help but notice that it has you on the verge of tears. I just wanted to invite you over to my house for a sleepover. Mercedes is coming too. We can have a girls' night. You look like you could use someone to talk to." Rachel said with a smile and a knowing look. I was slightly- no, I was really taken a back at this proposition. Rachel and I had never been great friends, but we were friendly with each other. She may be annoying, and conceited, and ambitious, but she does care (though Kurt would say otherwise). I found myself accepting and telling her that I would be at her house by 7:00.

"Sounds good. I'll see you there." Rachel gave me another award winning smile (she totally practiced in the mirror) and flounced away. I looked back to see Artie watching me. I gave him a little smile before I walked out the door. He didn't return the favour.

--

_A:N Okay. I wasn't going to make this a chapter fic, but it looks like now I kind of have to. I'll try to update this more often. Actually, I'll make a promise to you. I, Elizabeth will solemnly swear to update this story at least once every two days. No exceptions. There you go. I hope this is an okay start to the story. I'm not really sure about it, but I do have a bit of an idea where this story is going. I think it'll be pretty long. YOU'RE WELCOME. Anyway…yeah, kthnxbi._


	2. Doing a B & E

_A:N O HAI! Yeah. So I just put up this story yesterday and I already have three reviews, one favorite, and TEN alerts. HOLYCRAPPERS!! THAT'S CRAZY!!!!_

_EDIT: Hi. So today is Boxing Day (up above was written yesterday), and I just got ANOTHER EFFING REVIEW!!And I got another alert! OMYMYEFFINGGOD! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!! THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU_

_'?!_

_I'm still not really that comfortable with this story because I have just been looking at the characters for a few months unlike Harry Potter where I've known the characters for years. Anyway, hopefully I'm getting the characters down fairly well, and if I'm not PLEASE TELL ME!! I need to know so that I can look at them more closely and really get the essence of the character. That's really my main worry for this story, not getting the characters right. Anyway, enough with this ramble…ON AVEC LE STORY!_

--

Oddly enough, I found myself really enjoying the sleepover at Rachel's house. She was actually a very good hostess. We had plenty of chips, cheesies, pop, candy, and that one platter of fruit that we all ended up ignoring. Rachel's dads were really sweet and they welcomed Mercedes and I in with bear hugs. We'd gossiped about the hot boys in our grade-excluding Artie of course for the sake of my sanity, not because he wasn't hot…which he is, very much so. We had already gotten through most of the girly magazines that Mercedes had brought, trying out a few of the 'hot new looks' and failing miserably before having a _Wicked _Sing-Along Extravaganza. Basically it went like this. The three of us sat in a circle and one person would star with the pillow. Said person would sing a few lines in the song then throw the pillow to one of the others who would then commence to sing a few lines then toss the pillow to another. Luckily we all knew the lyrics to all of the songs in _Wicked_, even Mercedes. She revealed to us hat night that she was a closet _Wicked _fan. We were half-way through 'No Good Deed' when the power went out. "The power blows." I said making Rachel laugh and Mercedes confused.

"It's a line from _RENT_." Rachel said.

"Right…"

"What should we do now?" I asked immediately regretting it. They both looked at each other with a look that I really didn't trust.

"What's going on with you and Artie?" Rachel asked. "You can barely even look at each other let alone talk to one another." Great, yeah, thanks Rachel. The first night I'm not alone thinking about Artie and feeling happy for the first time in what felt like months-though it was only a week-, you bring it up.

"It's nothing, really." I said trying to avoid looking at the both of them. I was obviously lying. I was never much of an actor.

"Look Tina, we care about you. If you're going to just shut us out then fine, but you need friends like us right now. Just tell us what's up!" Mercedes said. I couldn't see her facial expression in the dark, but I could imagine exactly what it must look like.

"Mercedes is right. You shouldn't keep things so bottled up." Rachel said in a rather comforting tone. My dark hair fell in front of my face. The blue streaks were starting to fade, I really should re-dye those. I was not in the mood to talk about this right now. The other two could plainly see that, but they obviously were not letting up.

"Alright, fine. Artie and I went on a date and I told him about my stutter," I slid to the ground as I said this. I wouldn't be able to stand up very well during the telling of this story.

"What do you mean 'about your stutter'?" Rachel asked. The both of them had sat down across from me. "I mean, I've noticed you haven't been stuttering lately but-" I cut her off.

"I've been faking it. I never had a stutter. I just put it on so that people would leave me alone." Both of their faces showed surprise, but I could tell that they were fairly accepting.

"Well that's fine. It's a shield. Everyone has those." Rachel said.

"Yeah, like Miss Diva here who hides behind her bossiness," Rachel looked at Mercedes, a little offended, but Mercedes continued on anyway. "Everyone does that. So what's the deal?"

"He said that he thought we had something really important in common and he said that now I got to be normal and he was stuck in the chair for the rest of his life, which was not something he could fake. He was really angry with me. It's not like I can't see why. I lied to him for three years." I hugged my knees to my chest and put my forehead down on them. "He hates me," I said into my knees. There was a moment of silence before Mercedes broke with the forceful statement of," That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Who does he think he is?"

"What?"

"That's why he won't talk to you?! Well that's just plain stupid. That boy has issues and if he doesn't get over them soon, then I'll make him do it myself." Mercedes hit at Artie didn't really make me feel any better, but it did make me realize something. Why was he so angry with me? It's not as if he was my friend because I had a stutter and he was in a wheelchair. We became friends in the first place because we both enjoy the same sort of things and we were both bullied. We became friends over the fact that we were both outcasts who had excellent tastes in music. It had nothing to do with my stutter or his wheelchair.

"I suppose so." I said it almost as a question.

"You suppose so?! Uh uh, no that is not okay. Does he know what he's done to you? Has he even looked at you at all in the past week? No, I thought not," Mercedes looked like she was about to explode. This was not good. Maybe this sleepover wasn't going to be such a good idea after all, "No. Alright, well you know what we're going to do? We're going to go over to his house, and make him talk to you, right now."

"What?! But it's eleven o'clock at night! I don't want to bother-"

"No, we're going right now." And so we did. Mercedes hoisted me up by my elbows and the three of us marched down the stairs, pulled on our shoes-still in our pajamas by the way- and walked to Artie's house.

It was dark outside, and cold. Obviously Mercedes hadn't realized how far away Artie lived in respects to Rachel's house. He lived on the other side of town, near that weird pizza place with the really bad pizza. We were all shivering really badly, seeing as none of us were wearing sweaters.

--

By the time we finally reached Artie's house it was about midnight. And it was friggin' cold out. He lived in a one story house-for obvious reasons. He had told me that after the accident they moved to accommodate Artie's chair. It was completely dark inside which meant that everyone inside was asleep.

"They're all asleep, let's not disturb them." I turned on my heel and was about to run away when Rachel grabbed me by my wrist and pulled me back. She was pretty strong too. Damn ballet training.

"No, we're not going anywhere. Let's just go to his window," Rachel said. "C'mon, where is it?" She asked me.

"I'll show you if you let go of my wrist."

"Oh sorry," She quickly let go. I led them towards the side of the house where Artie's room was situated. There was a fairly large window that showed into the room of one sleeping Abrams. His curtains weren't closed all the way. There's a particular reason for that.

"Right, so let's get you inside."

"What?!" I shouted. I covered my mouth quickly hoping that I didn't wake him up. "I'm not doing a B & E!"

"As hell you are!" Mercedes strode towards the window about to try and lift it up. I ran forwards and stopped her before she could do anything stupid.

"Wait. I'll knock," I said.

"Whut?"

"That way I'm not breaking into his house, which is really creepy." I tried to reason with my friend.

"Fine, do it then," She said. I could feel my heart beating really hard and fast. It felt like it was trying to suffocate me. _Nice going heart, I really don't need this right now. _I went to go know at the glass, but what I saw there scared me half to death. Artie wasn't asleep anymore.

_Oh crap._


	3. Quickly, Tina

_A:N Wow. I have gotten an amazing reaction to this story. To everyone who reviewed, favorited (so not a word), and added this to their alerts, THANKYOUSOEFFINGMUCH!_

_Two chapters today. :D I'm really happy with how this chapter turned out. If you've read my other stories, you may have noticed that I have a tendency to rush things. I've tried not to do that with this story. Hopefully I've succeeded. :D_

_--_

While the short shouting match outside had been going on, the girls had failed to realize that they had woken Artie up. Eyes still groggy from sleep, he put on his glasses and was very surprised to see Rachel, Mercedes, and Tina standing outside his window. Mercedes looked like she was trying to open the window. _What the hell? _He thought he heard Tina say, "I'm not doing a B & E!" Luckily, Artie's bed was near the window with the curtains partially closed. He pulled himself off his bed and onto the window seat his parents had installed for him when he was ten. Out of the glass window, he saw his former best-friend and her two companions. Tina looked stressed, r_eally _stressed. Once Rachel and Mercedes had noticed that he was awake, they began glaring at him. And not the sort of half-assed glaring that some girls did. This was the glaring like _if-you-don't-right-the-wrong-you-did-to-our-girl-we-are-going-to-kill-you. _He had not idea how they could muster up that much anger, but he was ever so slightly scared.

--

Artie was sitting at the window staring at me. It felt like my heart had stopped, and then jumped back into action going at a mile a minute. _Shit. _Standing behind me was Rachel and Mercedes, hands on their hips and glaring through the window at Artie. Mercedes saw that I wasn't about to do anything of my own accord to talk to him, so she stepped forward, gave him a look that would be comical had it not been in context. He looked at her confused, so she said, "Boy, you better open this window and let our girl Tina in, or else I will cut you. This ain't no joke." Artie just looked confused, but at the same time a little angry. I looked down at my feet, only to notice that I had lost both of my shoes. _What?! How the hell did I lose my shoes with noticing?! _ I only just noticed at this point that my feet were hurting a lot. They were bleeding and they had a lot of dirt on them.

"Just let her in!" Rachel came forward with her typical Rachel voice which wasn't actually that typical of Rachel. That was another thing I had learned about Rachel tonight. She really wasn't as annoying as she seemed at school.

Artie looked over to me as I looked up at him. I didn't see any of the shine that I used to see in his eyes when we were best friends. It was gone. All I saw there now was anger and sadness. I was dead to him now. I was just another faceless normal. I had to show him I wasn't. I had to show him that I wasn't. I wasn't just some girl who was normal and didn't care about him. I trusted him enough to tell him about my stutter (or lack there of) and he needed to accept that. And so with these thoughts I put on a brave face and said to him as strongly as I could, "Please open it Artie. I really need to talk to you, please." After saying this, my brave face fell again and I looked down at my hideous feet. I felt tears come to my eyes and I wiped them away as quickly as I could. I couldn't be crying, _not yet. _His eyes never left my face. Finally after what felt like hours, I heard the squeak of the window being pulled up. My spirits lifted slightly. _Maybe he still does care. _

"Come in quickly, Tina." He hadn't called me Tina in awhile. He usually called me Tee. This made my hope drop about three billion points.

"We'll just stay out here," Rachel said and Mercedes agreed. I quickly scrambled into the room that I knew so well. I had been in here countless times, doing homework, reading, listening to music, laughing at whatever. I miss those days. I sat down near him on the window seat and watched him close the window on a fairly merry looking Rachel and a miffed Mercedes.

"What's going on? Why are you at my house in the middle of the night?" He didn't ask me how I was and he didn't give me the chance to ask him how he was. He just cut to the chase.

"I was at Rachel's house for a sleepover and we-we were talking about you." I finished lamely.

"And?"

"And I told them about our date," The minute I said this he looked at me with more anger than I had ever seen on him ever.

"Why?! That was private I thought!"

"They peer pressured me into it, and I couldn't hold it in any longer. I couldn't Artie, I'm sorry!" I almost broke down crying, but I managed to hold myself together, just by a thread.

He was silent.

"I told them about what I said, and what you said, then Mercedes pulled us outside and we walked to your house." I looked back down at my bloody feet. I quickly moved them off of the seat. I didn't want to get dirt or blood, or both onto his window seat cover. "I'm so sorry Artie. I didn't want to hurt you so badly. I didn't know it was so important to you that I had a stutter. If I had known and if I had more courage, then I would've told you earlier. But I don't have courage. Not any."

"You do have courage."

I looked up at him, surprised to hear concern in his voice. I shook my head at him. "No I don't. It was on a whim that I told you. I never would've if I'd known what would happen. That's why I have no courage. I'm a coward. But I couldn't lie to you anymore because I-." I stopped myself before I finished with the statement dreaded by all teenaged boys.

"Because you what?" He asked. I looked up at him. I think he knew what I very nearly said.

"No. It was nothing." I silently prayed that he wouldn't ask any further questions on the matter. Apparently God doesn't like me.

"No, tell me." Damn him. I couldn't tell him what I so dearly wanted to. He didn't feel the same way, at least not anymore.

"I care about you too much." Sweet, good save Tina. _*internal high five*_

He didn't anything for a minute. I looked up at him through my hair. He was thinking, a lot. I just then remembered something. I was in my pajamas, which did not contain much, just a pair of black leggings and a black tank top. That's awkward.

"That still doesn't explain why you're at my house. Why did Mercedes make you come?"

"She wanted me to talk to you," I told him. "She wanted us to sort through…this. She may have threatened you a couple times too." He chuckled at this. At the sound of his laugh I swooned slightly and also felt like someone had just stabbed me with a knife right in my gut. He looked down at me (he was taller than I was sitting down) with a bit of a smile.

"What happened to your feet?" His smile disappeared as soon as it had come.

"Oh, um, I lost my shoes on the way here. We ran for a bit of it. I dunno where they are," I looked sheepishly at him.

"Do they hurt?" He asked, obviously concerned for my well being.

"No, no it's fine. I didn't even notice I'd lost my shoes until we got here. Sorry for waking you up by the way.

"You can go wash them off in the bathroom," He didn't say anything about the last part. I walked out of his room into the bathroom across the hall.

--

He watched her leave the room and once she had closed the door to the bathroom, he turned to the two girls outside and opened the window.

"What were you thinking?"

"What?" Rachel and Mercedes stood up to face him.

"Didn't you even think about how this is for me? She's the one who lied to me and pretended to be somebody she wasn't!"

"What is your problem?! Have you not looked at her at all since she told you? She's a mess! And don't give me that crap about her pretending to be somebody she wasn't. That's bull. She's still Tina! It's not like the stutter made her who she is. She's still the fabulous singing Goth we all love. You need to accept the fact that she is still who you though she was, just without a stutter. And why does that matter to you so much anyway, cracker-boy?" Mercedes was very, very good at standing up for the people she cared about.

"She's normal. There's nothing wrong with her now. She can be anything now, but I'll always be the wheelchair kid. She can be normal, but I can't. She put up a disability and can take it down when ever she wants. I can't do that." He looked at Mercedes straight in the eye during this speech.

--

I heard the whole thing through the bathroom door. Every single thing.


	4. Broadway Singers and Gamers

_A:N Thanks to everyone who reviewed my last chapter. I'm sorry about Artie. He's a little (a lot) angry at the moment. _

_To Em0-Gleek, yes I know. I'm going to do multiple checks on this chapter before I post it. I always look at the story after I've posted it, and I ALWAYS find stupid little spelling errors._

--

All through Artie's rant I'm completely still. He thinks I'll change, just because I don't have a stutter anymore (kind of). _What?! _ What the hell?

My feet have been basically cleaned up. There's complete silence outside the door now. I carefully open the bathroom door to see Mercedes with her jaw dropped to the floor. Rachel looks like she could strangle Artie.

"What the crap_,_" Rachel was angry, really angry. "You need to get it through your thick skull that Tina is not her stutter. She is herself and if you can't accept that, then you will just have to live without her, forever. She's not going to come crawling back to you when ever you say so." _I dunno Rachel, I might._ Rachel's voice dripped with venom. I quietly walked over to the window and began to climb out. My mind is completely blank except for the one thought of _I have to get out of here. _ Artie didn't try to stop me. I didn't look back as I started walking up the lawn and down the street back to my house. My mind felt oddly blank. There was nothing to think about, nothing to ponder. Artie hated me and he would never get over it. That was that.

--

Sunday evening rolled along a lot faster than I had wanted it too. I couldn't bare the thought of having to face him tomorrow at school. Rachel had brought my stuff back from her house yesterday. She didn't say much, she just said a quiet hello to me, and then dropped off my clothes and what not. I could see she wanted to say something, but I small shake of my head silenced her. I hadn't seen Mercedes since that night.

I'd tried to think about Artie as little as possible and having a fair amount of success. I immersed myself in my homework, powering through my Math questions, my English essay on Jane Austen's _Pride and Prejudice,_ and finishing off my chem. lab. This only lasted for about two hours before there was nothing left for me to do. I'd already completely cleaned my room the day before. No one needed any help in the rest of the house-seeing as there was no one in my house-, and so I was left to nothing but my thoughts. _Was he really over me? Had I hurt him that badly? Was my stutter really that important to him? Was that all I was? Just a fellow disabled kid? _Because he was more to me than that, he meant more to me than almost anything. He wasn't number one, but he was right up there with oxygen and food. He was my best friend. He was the one who would listen to bands know one else knew with me. He would stay late at my house with me so I wouldn't have to be alone while my parents were out on business-like tonight. He would help me on the subjects in school that I just didn't get (History) and I would help him with the subjects he didn't understand (French). He was always the one who would lift my spirits on the days when the jocks were extra terrible. We would laugh when we both got thrown in the dumpster. We would sing together all the time- even if it was really loud- while walking down the street. We often were on the receiving end of strange looks as he gave me a ride home after school. We would be laughing the whole way home as I sat on his lap. _Has he forgotten all of that? Is that now just a distant memory? Nothing but a far off time that barely existed, was it all over? _I couldn't believe it was really over. I didn't want it to be over. It can't be. I won't let it be over. I would rather die then be without him for the rest of my life. I know,_ way to be melodramatic Tina._ I just can't bare the thought of never speaking to him again.

I looked over at my bedside table where my cell phone sat, waiting for me to call someone or text someone. It's like it was calling out to me, _"Use me, Tina! Call somebody important to you! Text them, share the love." _I thought quickly and almost on impulse grabbed my phone and pressed speed dial number '2'. I waited for the phone to be picked up by the receiver. The last ring had almost gone when it was answered.

"Hello?" At the sound of his voice I panicked. I hadn't spoken to him in a long time. My brother had moved to New York City last fall, and I hadn't talked to him since then. I felt to betrayed to talk to him. But that was then, this is now. I broke down crying.

"Tina?" Sobs and sniffles is what he had as a reply. "What happened? Who hurt you? What's his name? I'm gonna kick his ass." I smiled through tears at his wonderful brotherly love.

"Nick. I need you here. How soon can you get here? Mum and Dad are in Seattle for a week." I finally sobbed the words out.

"I dunno it'll take me about nine hours. Teelee, what happened?"

"Just please come."

"Tees, who hurt you, tell me, please." His concern showed in his voice. I missed him so much.

"It's Artie. I told him the truth and he's abandoned me."

"That fuck, I'm going to kill him. I'll be there as soon as I can. See you soon Tees."

"Bye Nick." I hung up the phone. I could always count on my brother to be there for me, even if he did live in NYC. He owned a graphic design company, so he could get off anytime. That wasn't a problem. He was only twenty three. I put my phone back on the bedside table and started to wait. I looked over at the clock, it was six o'clock. I did some mental math in my head. He'd be at my house around three in the morning, probably later then that. _I'm not going to school tomorrow._ That was a definite fact. I still had tears rolling down my face. Three o'clock couldn't come fast enough.

--

It was about four thirty in when I was shaken awake by my older brother, Nick. He was standing over looking worried out of his mind. He was a fairly tall fellow. He towered over me and my Mum. I jumped up and hugged him as tightly as I possible could and I started to cry all over again.

"Sssh, ssh, it's okay Tees. I'm here. Don't worry. I'll make it right." He rubbed by back, trying to comfort me as best he could. Once I had finished squishing him to death I took a step back and took a good look at him. He looked older. He looked damn tired that's what he looked like. He looked like he could use a good sleep.

"I'm sorry for making you drive all that way just for me and my angsty hormones." We sat down on the bed side by side.

"Shut up Tee. Just tell me what happened, _exactly _what happened. Tell me everything." And so I did. I told him everything. I told him about the date and about the sleepover and about the midnight walk/run to Artie's house. I told him about Artie and my conversation. I told him what Artie had said when I was cleaning off my feet. I told him about leaving his house in a hurry and I told him about how I was nothing to him anymore, nothing at all.

"What the hell. I am going to hurt him in ways that a person should not be hurt. He is going to get it. Where does he live? He's gonna get one hell of an ass kicking." He pulled me towards him and hugged me. I cried again. I couldn't stop, the tears felt endless. It felt like I may never be wholly happy ever again. "I'm going to kill him. Don't worry Tees; he will not get away with hurting you like this. He can't do this to you." And all through his comforting words all I can think is _but I've hurt him even worse than he hurt me. _So I voiced this thought to my lovely, wonderful brother.

"But I hurt him even more."

"What?!"

"I've betrayed him. I lied to him for the three years that I've known him." I cried even more.

"Tina, listen to me," He turns me to face him," you've done something amazing. You told him the truth. That takes some serious balls. You did what so many people would never be able to do. Most people would've just continued on with the lie, or would've added more lies to the base lie. If someone else was in your position, they might've said that they had speech therapy or something to get rid of the stutter. What you did was amazing. I wouldn't have had the guts to do that. You're a crazy awesome kid. That jerk has just not been able to realize what you did was as amazing and significant as it was. You trusted him enough to tell him the truth." I nodded, but still didn't believe what he was saying. I couldn't.

"But-."

"No friggin' buts Tina. Tomorrow, we are going to go to his house again. And he is going to listen to you or he will face my brotherly wrath." He was fired up, like, really fired up. The kind of fired up you see with Broadway singers and gamers. I was so glad to see that again. I hadn't seen his fire in awhile. Never the less, it was still too soon.

"Can we not do it tomorrow? Can we do it on Tuesday? Please Nick? I need some time before I face him again, please." I looked up at him with red, puffy eyes. He nodded and hugged me again. We sat like that for awhile, with him hugging me and me crying.

Finally my eyes started to dry. I had been crying for about an hour in total. I looked up at him. He looked terrible. He looked like and effing zombie.

"Nick! Go get some sleep!" I pushed him off my bed and into his old room.

"Pushy much?" He smiled and saluted me as he walked into his room yawning.

--

_A:N Did anyone catch the _RENT reference? It's pretty obscure…


	5. We Could Just Leave It

_A:N To Em0_Gleek, oh no, I'm not offended! Not at all! I do need to double (triple) check my chapters before I upload. I'm planning to do a Fichel fic sometime. I love them together also._

_To Artie R. I'm a huge fan of your stories and you have no idea how excited I was to see you reviewed my story. Thanks so much!_

_I really need to try and get the chapters longer, but when ever I try to; it ends up feeling stupid…_

_This is going to be a short filler chapter. I'm sorry, but I can't have too many excited shenanigans in this chapter, because it will be a set up for chapter six. My guess is that this story will be about ten chapters or so, possibly one or two more, but no more than that. Jus's sos yuh know._

_Any who, CARRYING ON WITH THE STORY._

_--_

"Oh crap, crap, crap, crappety, crappers." My brother and I sat on the floor in front of the TV set in our living room playing on his old Game Cube. We were playing _Super Smash Bros._ and he was beating me by a landslide. I'd missed doing this with my brother. Before he moved, when ever my parents were away on business-as they often were- we would sit down and play video games. He was way better than I was, but that didn't matter. It was still way fun.

"HA HA! VICTORY AGAIN!!" He shouted and continued on to do his happy dance. It was rather hysterical to behold. I laughed as he tripped and fell over onto the couch. Did I mention he was a dork?

I was so glad I hadn't gone to school that day. I needed this. I needed my brother's comforting words and laughable actions. I needed the time to myself to not think about Artie and if I had seen him at school, it would have made my attempt a lot more difficult. I needed to feel safe and I honestly hadn't felt safe in the last little while. Artie and I kept each other safe. We were each other's body guards. When we were together, the jocks wouldn't go at us as much and school was just more tolerable in general. Judging by Artie's lack of care from the night before, we'd probably never be able to go back to any of it, best friends or otherwise. And that sucked, a lot.

"Right so. We've been playing this for awhile now, and I feel like it's time that we come up with a plan that is to be executed tomorrow at about four o'clock in the afternoon." Ah crap. I hoped he had forgotten about that. Usually _Super Smash Bros._ did that, _damn it._

"That's okay." I said trying to avoid eye contact. I quickly jumped up and tried to run into kitchen, but Nick caught me by the arm and dragged me back into the living room.

"Oh no, we are going to get this fixed. I can tell you're really bummed out about this. Usually you beat me at least once." He stood towering over me as per usual. _Crap._

"Then let's figure it out later, after I make some food." I quickly ran into the kitchen before he good grab a hold of me again. I hoped that the food card would get him to wait a bit before diving into this very dangerous territory.

"Fine, but after food has been consumed, we will be forming a plan." He sat back down on the couch and grabbed his _Nintendo DS _from his pocket and began to play _Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass. _Yeah, he was a big nerd.

I pulled out a pot and made some Kraft Dinner. Nick was a sucker for that stuff-as was I. It might make him forget about Artie for a bit. I was hoping it would, but after the failure of top notch video games, my hopes weren't high.

--

"Right, so," With our mouths filled with orange noodles, we-he- began to devise a plan on how to make Artie come around. I wasn't really into it. I seemed to find the fringe on the pillow nearest to me more interesting.

"Oi! Teelee! Wake up, we need to do this."

"No, no we don't. Artie hates me, and he'll never stop. Let's just cut our losses and let him live his life as it ought to be…just with out me." I looked up at Nick through my hair. He didn't look impressed.

"Tina, just listen to your self. You will be miserable if this is not fixed and so we will fix it. Now, I dunno about you, but I say we need to get him to really notice you. You either have to do something extraordinary to get his attention, or you'll need to wear something awesome. I'm thinking a mix of both, but I have no skills in ways of awesome dress, so we will need some help with that."

"Right… or we could just leave it."

"Look, Tina. I saw you last night, and you were a mess. You obviously care about this jerk, and we need to fix your friendship with him. No matter how reluctant you are now, I know that not too deep down you want to fix this-NAY you need to fix this and I will not rest until it is fixed, or at least until it is fairly close to getting fixed." He was right. He was absolutely right. I needed Artie. Ever since he had come into my life when we were thirteen my life has been better. The bullying from the populars didn't bother me as much and it was wonderful to have a friend who cared so much about me. I knew I missed that, but after what I had heard at his house it felt as if we could never be friends again. It felt as if I was once again, completely, and utterly alone, as I had been for my entire life, except for Nick of course.

"He's not a jerk." I mumbled.

"As hell he is. Right, we need to get going on this; you're on the verge of tears. Kay, what is sure to get his attention and also shows him how much he really does care and how much you care?" I had to think about this one. What would get his attention? It had to be something ridiculously unique to our friendship. I couldn't sing to him, that would be cliché and I couldn't just tell him how I felt, I tried that already and failed. What was something that only the two of us shared? My mind drew a blank. _Thanks brain. _Damn it! I suddenly got an idea.

--

_A:N Hi again. Sorry for the stupidly short chapter. BLAHH! Next chapter will be much longer, I promise._


	6. Cause Your Words Don't Translate

_A:N You know wha sucks? Writers block._

_Anyway, this chapter was really hard to write-which is why it's a day late. I really just wanted to get it perfect. I don't think I succeeded, but it could be worse I suppose._

_This is completely off topic but, I saw the episode of "The Office" with Kevin McHale in it, he was pretty badass if I may say so._

--

It wasn't the most brilliant of ideas, but it was an idea none the less. It was a memoir of our friendship, from beginning to the rather messy and painful 'end' all sealed in an envelope that was currently lying on his front porch. I really hoped we was the one to find it first, not one of his parents or his little sister. That wouldn't end well.

--

Artie got home from Glee at about 4:30. He was exhausted. Unfortunately for his arms, his parents had to work late that night so he had no choice but to wheel himself home. All he wanted to do was to go lie down in his bed and sleep for a few hundred years. Ah well.

As he was turning onto his street he heard a shriek and then a shout of "_Shit!" _and the echoing sound of sneakers on pavement. There were two people with dark hair running in the opposite direction of his house. He wasn't able to get a good look at them in the low light and the fact that they were all the way at the end of the street, but it looked to be a boy and a girl, and while Artie was confused, he was too tired to really care all that much about the mysterious duo.

He reached his house in a matter of minutes. As he sat in front of the door fishing around in his back pack for his keys,he noticed a fairly large package sitting on the bench beside the door. There was nothing remarkable about the envelope, just a plain old brown package. The only thing written on the outside of the package was his name. The writing looked familiar, but in his exhaustion, he couldn't place it. It was a rather heavy package with a number of bulky objects inside. Quite perturbed, Artie finally found his keys, unlocked the door and rolled into his empty house. His little sister was at a friend's house he learned after reading a note left for him by his mother.

He quietly rolled into his room, closed the door-for good measure- and hoisted himself on to his unmade bed. He reached over and turned on his CD player and played one of his favorite CDs. It was _The Beatles 'Past Masters'. _He'd gotten it for his last birthday and he was constantly listening to it. As the sounds of the harmonica rang through the room he turned his attention to the mystery package. He could honestly not figure out whose writing was on the front. It looked so familiar, but as if he had seen it in a dream or in a movie. It was that sort of familiar, like if he saw it in context, then he would know, but with it just sitting there like that, he couldn't guess. _Damn, whose is it? _He sat there for a few seconds before having to facepalm himself. _Duh, I'll open it. Stupid._ He carefully tore open the the top of the large envelope and gently shook out its contents. There was an odd array of CDs, drawings, slips of lined paper and a memory stick. He instantly knew who it was from. It was from Tina, his best-former best friend. There were a bunch of CDs that he had given her-mixes he had made- and there were some CDs he had never seen before except in the HMV. There were a bunch of CDs that he had told Tina he was fond of and wanted. _She bought me all of these? _There was a mix CD she had made entitled _Why Does Distance Make Us Wise? _There were drawings of both her and Artie that they had done after school at her house. She'd put in two of the key chains they had bought when they were at the mall that one time. A little pikachu and a little squirtle. A ripped text book page sat amongst the other sheets of paper. A smile crossed his face as he remembered the day they had ripped that sheet of paper out of his English Literature book. It was a whole page on the art of Shakespearean insults.

There were little snippets of poems that she had written, and they all seemed to focus on her and Artie's relationship. He pulled out one of the longer ones and read the first verse.

_I've tried to show you,_

_But you just push me away._

_I'm almost done with you now,_

_But I always find a reason to stay._

He was starting to get a little nervous. All of the things in here were memoirs of their friendship. As he was looking through the other sheets of paper he found a small envelope, and inside of it was letter.

_Dear Artie,_

_ This is really awkward, and I hope that it's actually you reading this, not your nosy little sister-cute as she may be. I want to tell you how much I really care about you, but you always push me away when I try to talk to you about it in person, and so I give you this letter._

_I heard what you said when I was at your house on the weekend and your wrong. I'm not going to change because this secret is out. I'm still me. Just because I don't have disability, doesn't mean I'm not restricted. I still can't stand up for myself. I still can't stand up to my parents or Rachel, or you. I'm still too scared to do public speaking. _

_I can't be anybody I want to be because I already am. I like myself, and if I tried to change that, then I would be compromising myself. Just because I don't have a stutter, doesn't mean I'm going to change myself. I still have no self confidence, and I wouldn't be able to change my being without getting worried about what the outside world thinks._

_ I really care about you, I care about you even more than you probably realize. From what I heard on Friday and from the looks I saw you give me I can see that you don't want to care for me anymore, but we've been friends for too long for it to be gone and I won't let it be. _

_ I've tried asking for forgiveness, but I'm tired of that. You're either going to forgive me, or you're not and if you choose the latter, then we can never be friends again. I can't stand being in what feels like limbo, that's not fair to me. I know I hurt you, but you need to get over it. I'm still Tina and I'm still the same person I always was. Just accept that._

_ Tina_

_p.s. This is Tina's brother, Nick. You better forgive her, she hasn't been the same since the night she told you. She's been sobbing non-stop for the last week. You've hurt her,bad, and yet she thinks that what she did to you was much 's shy and she's scared. She has her reasons for putting on a stutter, reasons I'm sure she hasn't even told need to just cut the crap. I'm not above beating the shit out of you if you continue to hurt her this way._

Artie's eyes were wide with surprise. _Holy crap. _It felt like someone had just punched him in the stomach. He had really hurt her. If he was going to be honest with himself-which he was- he hadn't really thought or cared very much about how Tina might be feeling. All he had been able to think about was how much she had hurt him, when really she hadn't. She had told him the truth,which took some serious guts,and all he had done was push her away. He should be honoured at how much she trusted him. She did something, which in all honesty, he may not of even had the courage to do and she had tried to tell him that. Even Mercedes and Rachel had tried to tell him that, but we wouldn't listen. All he had done was latch onto that first jolt of betrayal and anger and held onto it for dear life. He wasn't angry with her anymore-still slighly betrayed-but not angry. He had only really cried once right after she had told him and he turned away, and that barely even counted. _God, I'm such a douche. _

As he looked around at the remnants of his and Tina's friendship strewn across his lap, a pang in his stomach made him push the papers, CDs, and revealing away. Some of the CDs fell off his bed and hit the ground, causing a few of them to open and have their contents fly out onto the floor. He was angry, but not at Tina. He was angry with himself. He was mad that he had hurt her so badly, and he was angry that he was so vulnerable, and he was mad at the fact that she was so strong, and yet he was so weak. He felt like a complete and utter jerk. His eyes started to fill with angry tears. He went to rub his eyes with the back of his hand when he realized he still had his gloves on. He ripped them off and through them across the room. _Crap, that was stupid. _He'd have fun trying to retrieve those later.

As he was rubbing away at the salty water that was currently falling down his face he noticed the memory stick. Confusion in his currently red eyes, he pulled his laptop over to his lap from its place on the bedside table and lifted up the lid. After his computer had started up and he was logged into MSN (force of habit), he pushed the memory stick into the USB port. The little window showed up on his screen and there were two files sitting there looking at him. Both of them were .mov files. The first wone was titled _Fuck You _and the second of was called _My Junk. _The first one confused him. Tina didn't really swear all that much and when she did it was at a very appropriate time-well, as appropriat as it could be. He clicked on the file and watched it open up before him. He pressed play and watched the video unfold before him. The sounds generated by _Garage Band_ filled his room in an upbeat rhythem. After a short intro, Tina's voice rang through his room singing what was a cover of Lily Allen song. He wasn't that familiar with the singer, but he did know some of her songs. This was one of those songs and Tina was owning the original hands down. Her strong voice belted out the song with an enormous amount of passion. The sound of the entire cover was very proffesional. He knew she had a little mini recording studio type thing in the corner of her room. She often recorded herself singing as to make herself better, and just because it was fun. He listened to her voice as she sang the chorus.

_Fuck you, _

_Fuck you very,very much._

_ 'Cause your words don't translate,_

_ And it's getting' quite late. _

_ So please don't stay in touch._

He watched her sing the rest of the song. He watched her lips move as she belted out the last note and he watched when she was finished how she flipped him off. _Ouch._

"You're welcome." She said as she walked out of the shot. He closed the file and quickly opened up the second one with the much softer title. Once again, Windows Media Player opened up, and a slide show began. Artie didn't know the name of the song that was playing in the backround, but it sounded like it was something from a musical. A montage of pictures glided in an out of the video gracefully. All of the pictures were of him and Tina. There were ones from when they had first became friends in Grade 7 and there were the more recent ones from this year. They both looked so happy in all of the shots. There were pictures from the one time that Tina had brought her camera to Glee and she was taking pictures of him and the other Glee kids before they had started rehearsal. There shots of the day that they went to the park and he had stolen her camera and was taking pictures of her and Artie together looking ridiculosly happy. Seeing all of these pictures gave him a weird tingly feeling in his heart. He felt like the Grinch when his heart grew a size that was way to big to fit his chest.

_We've all got our junk;_

_ And my junk is you. _

The slide show finished playing and the last note hung in the air. He was smiling just a little bit, and he had every intention of jumping-figuratively- into his chair and racing up to Tina's house at this very moment, but something stopped him. He could barely lift his arms up from exhaustion and his eyes were starting to close. _I'll talk to her tomorrow at school._ He was almost asleep when he had the amazing idea of sending her a quick text.

_Meet me at the corner tomorrow moning 8:30._

That would give them a good amount of time to talk before class started at nine o'clock. He flipped his phone back and set it beside him on the bed. He listened as the last few Beatles songs played from his CD player, the lovely guitar plucking being the last thing he heard before falling asleep for a nice long winter's nap.

--

My cell phone buzzed beside me on the coffee table. My brother and I had successfully delivered the package to Artie's house earlier in the afternoon. We were currently playing _New! Super Mario Bros. _on the Nintento DS. I paused the game-received a groan from Nick- and picked up my phone. On the screen it said I had a message from Artie. My heart jumped as I opened it and read the short text. Butterflies burst into my stomach as I read the message and what it could possibly mean.


End file.
